LYRICS

Here are all the lyrics to the new album ‘Hark! The Headland Approacheth’. Off we go.

The Curse Of The Conniving Lighthouse Sniper

 

Troubled vessel of lost corsairs

Hunting for the whale again

Saw the glow upon Wretched Head

Seconds later they’re left for dead

Oh, a trigger happy lighthouse keeper

Sniper caught them unawares

No one saw, no one questioned why

No one knows if he’s still alive

 

Oh, the last thing they saw was a bright light from shore

Upon the treacherous coast leaning over sharp rocks galore

And the whole voyage failed while the wreck, it lay impaled

So don’t ever fall under the curse of trigger-happy lighthouse keepers

Watchin’ over you

 

One by one oh down they fell

Sniper man, he tolled the bell

Off to another land he fled

While the lost corsairs lay left for dead

 

Oh, the last thing they saw was a bright light from shore

Upon the treacherous coast leaning over sharp rocks galore

And the whole voyage failed while the wreck, it lay impaled

So don’t ever fall under the curse of trigger-happy lighthouse

Oh, the last thing they saw was a bright light from shore

I’m surprised it hasn’t been mentioned yet in maritime folklore

And the whole voyage failed after many miles sailed

So don’t ever fall under the curse of trigger-happy lighthouse keepers

Watchin’ over you

 

 

Hark! The Headland Approacheth

 

Hark!

 

By the light of the moon by the light of the sun

His eyes they are fixed on the horizon

For the headland approaching, (Ready about!)

Hark the headland approacheth (Lee ho!)

Some they cry foul and some they cry hark,

Is it just an illusion or lines in the dark?

Six winters waned since the last land I parted

Bade thee farewell on St. Christens Bay

 

Wave upon wave upon day upon day

Doth the green land remain when the cloud drift away?

Oh how I long to tread not upon water

Bid fare thee well to the swell and the sway

 

A life lived in limbo, the nights seem so long

You made your decisions, every one of them wrong

Oh, a life lived in limbo the night seems so long,

You made your decisions but every one of them…. Wrong.

 

The spell is completed, the horizon, it beckoneth again

“Oh cut your rambling drop anchor ‘pon the shoreline”

Oh somebody told me never give in to boundless uncertainties at sea

“The waves are worsening, just moor up on the shoreline”

 

Blowin’ aback yeah

Blowin’ aback yuh

Blowin’ aback yo

Blowin’ aback yeagh

Spinning out of control

 

Hark!

 

 

Mutiny

 

It’s terribly sad, admiral – they’re planning a mutiny

It’s terribly sad, the men have gone mad,

The men have gone mad, the men have gone mad

They’re planning a mutiny

It’s terribly sad, admiral – this ship’s under scrutiny

It’s terribly sad, the men have gone mad,

The men have gone mad, the men have gone mad

They’re planning a mutiny

 

It’s clear in the air, the tension is there

The call of despair, this ghastly affair

Is bubbling under, brewing like thunder, hoping to tear us both asunder

Terribly, terribly sad, admiral, but any old sucker can see

They’re planning a mutiny

Here we go…

 

It’s terribly sad, admiral – no sense of duty

It’s terribly sad, the men have gone mad,

The men have gone mad, the men have gone mad

They’re planning a mutiny

The men have grown tired, admiral

The men have conspired, admiral

It’s terribly sad, the men have gone mad,

The men have gone mad, the men have gone mad

They’re planning a mutiny

 

The way that their faces fill with disgrace

The looks in their eyes, it’s you they despise

Intention is mine to help with the plot

To be off the hook of the black spot

It’s rather admirable, admiral, and any old sucker can see

They’re planning a mutiny

Here we go

 

Grab the admiral, tie him up and throw him overboard

Over he goes, over he goes, heave ho heave ho

Grab the admiral, tie him up and throw him overboard

Over he goes, over he goes, heave ho heave ho

 

Bringin’ the law down, bringin’ the law down, bringin’ the law down

Bringin’ the law down, bringin’ the law, bringin’ the law down, down

 

Breakin’ the door down, breakin’ the door down, breakin’ the door down,

Breakin’ the door down, breakin’ the door, breakin’ the door down, down

 

 

Esmerelda

 

Do you speak little girl, when you hear your master calling

Do you run to him girl, don’t I own you at all?

 

In the morning, we will wade into the tide

With our shirts undone and the grey night left behind

 

Stray not far from him girl, though I know your thoughts betray him

Do not cry for him girl, don’t I own you at all?

 

In the morning, we will wade into the tide

With our shirts undone and the grey night left behind.

 

Esmerelda. Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking about your tears, running down your face like a stream of wild honey.

Tell me: have you ever cried so much nothing but blood comes out? Well I have.

Here it is now. Yar.

 

In the morning, we will wade into the tide

With our shirts undone and the grey night left behind.

Esmerelda, we were destined for each other, but when I held ya, I repelled ya

 

 

Bamboozled By Booze

 

‘Twas a dark and stormy night full of sleet, full of snow

And a full house in a cosy tavern in Perranuthnoe

There stood Barry The Bragger, very gallant in the snug

Lookin’ all smug whilst a glugging his grog from a gold plated

tankard, cantankerously countering, rambunctiously

rambling tales of his tipples of choice

Well it wasn’t too long ‘til this sucker met his match

Through the hatch leant a hench traveller

Armed with containers that spelt out MESSY TIMES

He asked him, “What really gets your blood pumping, lad”

Barry replied, “Black Seal Absinthe?? Ethanol?? Ho hum… and I’ve been

rarely brought to tears one 1,000% overproof rum”, but the man said…

 

“I’d keep your stories to yourself you know

And this time listen to your liver

I’ve had these poisons gathered far and wide

So why don’t you just shut your trap

And let your timbers shiver”

 

Bamboozled By Booze – you’re not gonna take it

You’re destined to lose your dignity and sea-cred

It’s painfully clear that he’s been sent by the devil

Gonna go down, down, down, down

On the floor, get out the door!

 

Well, the drinking rally did commence, a few spectators here and thence

The bets were being placed on who’d remain the standing man

Now this traveller it seemed was quite the alchemist of alcohol

A double dozen recipes of shame to his name

He poured the first of which into a respectably sized receptacle

Up shot Barry’s testicles, it was clear that he was skeptical

 

Well, Barry tried his very darndest to distract the man, he said to him

“I can down ten gallons of sea-water, just watch me” but then

“Balderdash!” the traveller prompted – ‘twas very then that he persuaded

A pint of the mystery recipe down his gullet, like a bullet

He was down in a matter of seconds, and the audience guffawed

At him on the floor – by now the strange man had disappeared

But a voice could be heard saying:

 

“I’d keep your stories to yourself you know

Before you embarrass us all

I’ve been marauding these shores far and wide

But never have I come across an imbecile like you”

 

Bamboozled By Booze – you’re not gonna take it

You’re destined to lose your dignity and sea-cred

It’s painfully clear that he’s been sent by the devil

Gonna go down, down, down, down

On the floor, get out the door!

Bamboozled By Booze – you’re not gonna take it

You’re destined to lose your dignity and sea-cred

It’s painfully clear that he’s been sent by the devil

Gonna go down, down, down, down, down, down…

 

You’ve been bamboozled, you’ve been bamboozled

You’ve been bamboozled by booze

Don’t get bamboozled, don’t get bamboozled

Don’t get bamboozled by booze

 

Oh Barry where’s yer reputation now?

There ain’t a lot to brag about

You’re gonna have to find a new profession

that entitles you to be a pompous stuck-up lout

 

Well, eventually he did arise, and this it came as no surprise

That he’d been chucked outside with chronic hangover blues

He checked his pockets good and hard, but only found a calling card

That simply read out: “You’ve been bamboozled by booze”

 

 

It’s Raining, Men!

 

As the night follows through into a frightmare of weather

There’s a necessary need to neck your nasty old liqueur

It’s a terrifying torrent coming down onto your galleon

And known to terrorize the most brutal of battalions

 

Ooh a cold wind on the neck

Turns into a splash on the deck of monstrous and ghastly proportions, so

 

Don’t man the sails – embrace the gales

This storm’s a brewin’ now

Let’s ride it out down to Fiddler’s Green

 

Just a coupla hours left on this beat-up, battered boat to row

Taking it in turns on the crow’s nest rodeo

The intensification of this precipitation

Is roaring in the air so abandon navigation

 

Ooh a cold wind on the neck

Turns into a splash on the deck of brutally tempestuous proportions, so

 

Don’t man the sails – embrace the gales

This storm’s a brewin’ now

Let’s ride it out down to Fiddler’s Green

Don’t man the sails – embrace the gales

This storm’s a brewin’ now

Let’s ride it out down to Fiddler’s Green

 

The general synopsis at 1900. Fitzroy, Biscay, Trafalgar: Good. 2 increasing 3. Cromarty, Forth & Tyne: Fine. Dogger: Low winds becoming easterly. Moderate or good. Fisher: All dandy except that giant whirlpool the size of Cyprus, do be careful. German Bight: Alright on the night. Humber, Thames, Dover, Wight: Moderate or poor, with fog patches, and a strange smell of stale herring. Portland, Plymouth, Lundy: northerly gales becoming cyclonic. Poor. Soul, Shannon, Fastnet: it’s not looking good for you, let’s be honest. Rockall – Rockall, my good men: excrutiating s***storms galore!

 

Ooh, a cold wind on the neck

Turns into a splash on the deck of inhumanly outrageous proportions, so

 

Don’t man the sails – embrace the gales

This storm’s a brewin’ now

Let’s ride it out down to Fiddler’s Green

Don’t man the sails – embrace the gales

This storm’s a brewin’ now

Let’s ride it out down to Fiddler’s Green

Don’t man the sails – embrace the gales

This storm’s a brewin’ now

Let’s ride it out down to Fiddler’s Green

 

 

Salt Man

 

I was walking down the harbour whilst a hankering a hunger

And proceeded for a purchase of some fish and chips of mediocrity

Oh, was a low scoring feast, I was unimpressed to say the least.

Craving for a flavouring, I was stopped in my tracks.

Who should I bump into and suddenly see?

 

He said “Halt, man – I am Salt Man

I come armed with salt sachets to bring some flavour to your days

I am Salt Man – it’s not my fault man

I was born down in the mine and bathe twice a day in brine

But it has been my destiny to travel far across the sea”

 

(Various insults)

 

He said “Halt Man – I am Salt Man

I don’t know why I’m victimized for how my face is crystallized

I am Salt Man” (it’s not his fault, man!)

“Oh if you take me on a ride, I’ll bring the sodium chloride

But it has been my destiny to travel ‘cross the sea

I’ll show my loyalty wherever you may be

I’m useless ‘cept for one small thing

I’m an expert when it comes to seasoning

So come on then, how about it?

I will be your dedicated salty servant”

I said “Yeah!             …actually no”

 

 

Sulphur Bottom Lament (Plankton Song)

 

O Plankton I have done you wrong

Fifteen million dead in a mouthful

To the Leviathan we are both nothing

Don’t think ill of me for doing what I must do

You are the hope of the East African coast

But you only shine when you are dying

I am your blue doom, for alas, I must consume

But all through this genocide I will be crying

 

 

Brandywine

 

The brandy shadow follows me through Bermondsey, the Thames Valley

The Tyne, the Wear o’er Jersey, across the Mersey

Over Guernsey, over Sark

Oh for one more taste of Brandywine

Oh how I long to find a taste of brandy so refined

To walk across the brandy mountain, drinketh from the brandy fountain

One last time

Pickle my insides in a brandy brine

Days they come and days they go, I’ll drift into a hollow sorrow

Never should you mix the twain of brandy grape and brandy grain

 

Oh how I long to find a taste of brandy so refined

To walk across the brandy mountain, drinketh from the brandy fountain

One last time

Pickle my insides in a brandy brine

Days they come and days they go, I’ll drift into a hollow sorrow

Never should you mix the twain of brandy grape and brandy grain

 

Brandy Wine. Brandy Wine. Brandy Wine…

 

 

The Curse Of The Dreaded Devil’s Triangle

 

Man overboard!

Taken by the sea lord

Poor sucker laid to rest

Top broke off the crow’s nest

Another boat to the grave

Chopped up by a tidal wave

Emergency flare

No good place to sea-fare

 

 

Apocacalypso

 

Have we surpassed the torturous gauntlet laid down before us?

We made light work of the powerful storms and waves that coulda ripped and torn us

And dodged the bullet when it came to predators upon the rocks tryina claim our lives

Come on!

 

So what have you got to throw what have you got to throw

What have you got to throw at us now

So what have you got to throw what have you got to throw

 

We barged our way through mutinous scrapes with no unfinished business in mind

Survived the woes and whimpers of liqueur and lovers left way behind

And dodged the bullet when it came to mysterious landlubbers tryina climb aboard Get off!

 

So what have you got to throw what have you got to throw

What have you got to throw at us now

So what have you got to throw what have you got to throw

 

Well I turn my head and in the corner of my eye there’s a spanner in the works

We start to see a red mist of uncertainty that lurks

Cutting quick along the waves, cutting sharp and harsh and fast,

There’s no words – just plain terror sounds coming down from atop the mast

So the party’s now been silenced, all the grog’s suddenly turned sour

In what we thought was finally peace could be our gruesome final hour

Revenge is there to claim for the savage beasts we’d sworn we’d slayed

But one final cataclysmic brawl before our sea beds are made

 

Before our sea beds are made

 

Before our sea beds are made
SEPTOPUS CREDITS

All music released by Crow’s Nest. Produced by Phil Booth at JT Soar Studio, Nottingham. Mixed by Chris Armstrong. Mastered by Joe Caithness at Subsequent Mastering. Artwork by Amy Freeman at Mangotree Illustration. Album put to press by Media Hut. Front Cover idea by Grace Capper.

Samples: Whale sample on Track 1 acquired from freesound.org http://www.freesound.org/people/KEVOY/sounds/82325/

Musket sample on Track 7 also acquired from freesound.org Aaron Siler http://www.freesound.org/people/aaronsiler/sounds/128980/